12/15/07
GFBC recently had the misfortune of walking through the valley of the shadow of discord. As a result, we have spent a great deal of time learning how to handle gossip and slander. In doing so, we became aware of the fact that most Christians know very little about dealing with these issues. Even our leaders learned a great deal in the process. In fact, there probably wasn’t a person in the church who left without grieving their own sin in this area. There have been so many requests for the outline of what we shared that we decided to provide it here.
Sewing discord is one of the most heinous sins in the Bible:
“There are six things that the LORD hates, seven that are an abomination to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that make haste to run to evil, a false witness who breathes out lies, and one who sows discord among brothers.”
(Proverbs 6:16-19 ESV)
Means and Methods of Sewing Discord
I.Gossip
A.Definition: Casual or unconstrained reports about other people, typically involving details that are not true (Oxford English Dictionary).
B.yiquristh/ß (psithuristes): a whisperer
C.Clearly Identified as Sin:
“But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh. For the flesh sets its desire against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; for these are in opposition to one another, so that you may not do the things that you please. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the Law. Now the deeds of the flesh are evident, which are: immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmities, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, disputes, dissensions, factions, envying, drunkenness, carousing, and things like these, of which I forewarn you, just as I have forewarned you, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God” (Galatians 5:16-22
NAS95)
Romans 1:29 They were filled with all manner of unrighteousness, evil, covetousness, malice. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, maliciousness. They are gossips, 30 slanderers, haters of God, insolent, haughty, boastful, inventors of evil, disobedient to parents, 31 foolish, faithless, heartless, ruthless. 32 Though they know God’s decree that those who practice such things deserve to die, they not only do them but give approval to those who practice them.
D.Warned Against:
“Whoever meddles in a quarrel not his own is like one who takes a passing dog by the ears. Like a madman who throws firebrands, arrows, and death is the man who deceives his neighbor and says, “I am only joking!” For lack of wood the fire goes out, and where there is no whisperer, quarreling ceases. As charcoal to hot embers and wood to fire, so is a quarrelsome man for kindling strife. The words of a whisperer are like delicious morsels; they go down into the inner parts of the body. Like the glaze covering an earthen vessel are fervent lips with an evil heart. Whoever hates disguises himself with his lips and harbors deceit in his heart; when he speaks graciously, believe him not, for there are seven abominations in his heart; though his hatred be covered with deception, his wickedness will be exposed in the assembly. Whoever digs a pit will fall into it, and a stone will come back on him who starts it rolling. A lying tongue hates its victims, and a flattering mouth works ruin.” (Proverbs 26:17-28 ESV)
“A dishonest man spreads strife, and a whisperer separates close friends.” (Proverbs 16:28 ESV)
“Besides that, they learn to be idlers, going about from house to house, and not only idlers, but also gossips and busybodies, saying what they should not.” (1 Timothy 5:13 ESV)
II.Slander
A.Definition: A false and malicious spoken statement that may bring harm to the reputation of another (Oxford English Dictionary).
B.dusfhmi÷a (dusphemia); evil speaking, defamation.
C.Identified as Sin
“For I fear that perhaps when I come I may find you not as I wish, and that you may find me not as you wish—that perhaps there may be quarreling, jealousy, anger, hostility, slander, gossip, conceit, and disorder.” (2 Corinthians 12:20 ESV)
“So put away all malice and all deceit and hypocrisy and envy and all slander.” (1 Peter 2:1 ESV)
Psalms 15:1 O LORD, who shall sojourn in your tent? Who shall dwell on your holy hill? 2 He who walks blamelessly and does what is right and speaks truth in his heart; 3 who does not slander with his tongue and does no evil to his neighbor, nor takes up a reproach against his friend.
D.Warned Against
“He who goes about as a slanderer reveals secrets, Therefore do not associate with a gossip.” (Proverbs 20:19 NAS95)
Psalms 101:5 Whoever slanders his neighbor secretly I will destroy. Whoever has a haughty look and an arrogant heart I will not endure.
III.Rules of Thumb
When dealing with information and communication, it is important to think through our actions in order to avoid gossip and slander. Thus, we have to ask ourselves whether or not we need to speak at all about what we know. Here are some simple rules to follow:
A.Is it Kind?
If what we have to say about a brother or sister is kind, then by all means we should say it. We should encourage, extol and praise one another often. However, if what we have to say about
another is unkind, we may be involved in slander.
B.Is it True?
We must never share anything if we are not certain about its veracity. However, some things may not be kind but they are true, nonetheless. In most cases, they still should not be shared. The fact that something is true does not automatically mean it should be shared.
C.Is it Necessary?
Sometimes we must share things that are unkind (but true). For instance, if a brother is engaged in destructive, sinful behavior, and I have confronted the issue to no avail, I may have to share it with another in order to escalate the confrontation and get him help or call him to repentance.
IV.General Unconstrained Speech
James 3:6 And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell.* 7 For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by mankind, 8 but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. 9 With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. 10 From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers,* these things ought not to be so. 11 Does a spring pour forth from the same opening both fresh and salt water? 12 Can a fig tree, my brothers, bear olives, or a grapevine produce figs? Neither can a salt pond yield fresh water.
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"Oh, for closest communion with God, till soul and body, head,
face, and heart - shine with Divine brilliancy! But oh! for a holy
ignorance of our shining!" - Robert Murray M'Cheyne
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